Thanksgiving in July

Words cannot describe what took place on Thanksgiving in July (especially not the day after TIJ, when words come a bit more slowly than usual). Luckily, we’ve got numbers:

number of chairs at the thanksgiving table: 100

approximate number of chairs filled: 80?

number of guests who flew in for the occasion:19

number of guests who biked from Portland to San Diego for the occasion: 2

number of guests in full pilgrim costumes:2

number of guests in custom TIJ t-shirts: 20

number of guests dressed like a turkey: unfortunately, 0

number of turduckens: 2

number of turkeys not cooked because of a leak in the deep fryer: 1

number of blow torches pulled out to fix the leak in the deep fryer: 1

number of electric knives used to carve turduckens: 2

approximate number of side dishes brought to accompany the turduckens: 30

pounds of bacon that were tray-passed over the course of the day: 8

hours taken to pan-fry all of the bacon: 2

number of 32-ounce gatorade bottles that could be filled to the brim with the grease generated while preparing the bacon: 1

number of cotton candy machines: 1

number of feet away from the cotton candy machine guests were standing when they realized they could  wrap bacon in cotton candy: 4

number of kegs of Ballast Point beer: 4

number of bands: 2

number of total minutes one of the bands practiced in the year leading up to the performance: 20

number of times that band played “Orthopedic Shoes“: 2

number of times the cover band, upon request, played the Darkness “I Believe in a Thing Called Love,” within a 15 minute span: 2

number of moonbounces:1

number of bikes ridden into the moonbounce: 1

number of party buses: 1

number of beaches streaked by riders on the party bus: 2

number of guests left behind by the party bus: 1

approximate number of Ramiros burritos that riders on the party bus insisted on ordering and eating before going back to look (unsuccessfully) for the guest who was left behind: 15

number of guests who managed to find their way home after being left by the party bus, barefoot and shirtless, by convincing strangers to drive him to the North Park sign, which he thankfully remembered passing earlier in the weekend: 1

number of reporters present to write up TIJ for the San Diego Reader Party Crasher column: 1

number of mentions of TIJ on the Channel 8 news: 1

I’m sure there are more–let me know if I forgot any vital statistics. Otherwise, thanks to everyone who made this year such an over-the-top success and here’s to next year…